Little by little the dark threads of the familiar appear again. I’ve seen the wall. Its foundations are cracking, breaking apart. The table was absent, no people, just emptiness. I found myself standing on a hill overlooking a vast emptiness. The landscape was a desert under sullen skies of numbing desolation and greyness - Failure, futility and sheer black despair swept through me. I felt empty, cold and grey inside. My eyes perceived a land of stone and ashes and its continuity scared me. The land held a drowning depth of stillness and the silence was oppressive. A cry of words “The Fathers have eaten a sour grape and the childrens’ teeth are set on edge” seemed to echo a lament in my mind and I had the feeling that all that once was will be lost. I felt a chill wind of despondency blow over me and I was washed by poignant grief. The sadness of it all, in its way, was worse than the numbing desolation. Now, on reflection, I begin to wonder if it is Jewish fate to struggle this far only to spiral into lasting darkness. And I ask myself why?