I find it difficult to put my thoughts into words partly because the exact words to describe my feelings are hard to find. Death might be one of the two most natural things in the world; but nothing will ever set it straight in my mind or make it fully understandable. I might worry about death, I might laugh about it; I might ignore it or forget all about it, but it’s always there, sometimes visible in our televised news, sometimes not. I see it but I understand that I cannot do anything about it. I’ve developed a protective sort of shield through which I am offered an opaque view of death. Death is out there, just beyond reach, just outside the shield, a menacing shadow, a shape without a face. I’ve come to an arrangement with it, a sort of agreement or perhaps a stand-off. Through a sense of fatalism or familiarity I’ve become use to it. I hate it but I accept it. Death is far more than mysterious or worrisome. It’s panicky, frightening, sometimes terrifying. Facing it is unimaginable and there are times when I am upset at the death portrayed across our screens on a nightly basis but nothing surprises me any more and I accept life for what it is. We live to die, hopefully in old age. Perhaps, that’s the ultimate reality, when you’re forced to come to terms with the most brutal kind of realism.

For me life and death flow together as being one and the same. I've come to understand that death stalks us constantly and eventually will claim us all. The one thing we can be sure of is that we are bound to die. For most people life is based on the assumption that they will live to an old age and they avoid the thought of death. They believe they have time to spare and their lives lack urgency and intensity. They accept life around them without really looking at life itself and what it holds. I accept that one day I will die and that day could be today. Having come close to death I look upon life as being beautiful because for me tomorrow may not exist. I accept it, but my acceptance does not stop me living from day to day and appreciating all that life holds in my own world. I feel no grip of emotion, only an acceptance, a resignation, a sense of helplessness for whatever happens, I know that one day I will die. I suspect I've come to terms with my own death and therefore I live fully every instant of life.