Now, even days after the event, I still find it difficult to understand what it is that was portrayed. My words do not do justice to what was seen. How can I explain what I fully saw? Perhaps my imagination is playing a trick on me, or rather is playing the same trick over and over again. It’s as if what was seen has become arrested at a particular frame. In my imagination I see the light come on again and the images flow on. The script is different each time but not the end towards which the action is flowing and some words come to mind “In my fathers house there are many mansions.” I hope this is true and if it is true that what was seen in the vision will not eventuate ...

Once again, I was thrown into another place. The wall is still broken, still falling but something has changed, the sands have quivered. A shifting of oaths, a new movement of purposes? There was no table only a group of people who stood erect, pallid of face, staring ahead as if alone - each man of himself alone. (Until they are themselves of the soul, they’ll remain strangled by the chains within them.) Scornful and forever grumbling, they will become weakened by their display of nothingness. Their shadows will continue to hover at the cross roads even at noon. Voices raged without purpose, argumentative. Shadowy faces became tense. One face remained impervious, almost menacing, its whiteness not that of goodness though perhaps of fealty. He who will remain undeterred, who will bring death by his faithfulness, will also deceive. Around him blood flows, at first a trickle and then a deep broad river, rushing, tumbling. Chanting heard beneath is depths, echoing, echoing ... Face upon face passed me by. Those that stand alone disappeared within its torrent of bitterness and despair, submerged in a hate of their own making. The four with crowns upon their heads worked frantically, shoring up that which had broken free which threatened to bring death and destruction to surrounding lands but they have also remained solitary and aloof and will become broken. Behind them, huge and immovable, wings outstretched, covering those within its reach, remained the eagle, eyes wide open, unblinking. Head raised it screamed its own anger and agony caught within the brilliant flash of light. Undeterred it remained, scorched, blackened but not broken hovering, and watching.

Time turns, the wind blows, the sands rise and subside, the wheel of time marches forward. Emptiness and desolation remained, nothing seen but white bones scattered across empty landscape. The deads’ flame is blown out and ever more shall be so.

hat with the terrible news from the States. I couldn't quite believe the news reports early Wednesday morning. The pictures were horrendous. It was surreal and I don't think anyone could have prepared themselves for what they were seeing. It was shocking watching the buildings collapse on live tv, shocking watching the second aircraft hit, shocking watching the survivors escape with their lives, shocking watching people jumping from the buildings but what was most shocking of all was the backdrop of the pale blue calm sky before it filled with dust and debris. At one point I stood outside. It was a beautiful calm Australian Spring day, sunny with a light breeze and as I looked down toward the coastal plain everything seemed surreal again. I could hear the CNN reporter behind me frantically speaking of the horror and there I stood viewing the scenic beauty that lay before my eyes.

The roads were very quiet in Melbourne during the rush hour on Wednesday. Everyone remained glued to their televisions. Here in the office they ran the tv so that people could see what was eventuating. There was a feeling, and still is, of sadness and horror and gloom. No one can quite believe what occurred. Even today people are feeling depressed. Having travelled in the States in April, a feeling of sickness sweeps through me ... as it does others who have flown overseas recently. Suddenly, air travel is not safe any more. We are not safe any more. Our office has recalled all staff travelling overseas from wherever they are and have issued the command "come home now". People are working frantically to get them back on Australian shores as soon as possible. There is a real concern that if the American's attack, reprisal attacks could be felt worldwide and who knows which countries will be hit.

What started as a beautiful week has ended in horror and death and destruction for so many. Each of us feel for the people that have died or are suffering and I believe our Prime Minister, John Howard, who was in Washington during the attacks expressed the feelings of the Australian public at large. We stand united and behind you. We are a friend and if you need help you will receive it. Perhaps this one event has united the West like it has not been united in years. Perhaps now, the ugly spectre of terrorism can be attacked and thrashed though I doubt it will ever be fully destroyed and will continually rise, phoenix like, from whatever ashes are created. It is not something that can be destroyed tomorrow. It will be a long, hard ongoing battle. Many good men will die, many innocents will die in the ensuing conflict but whatever happens, let us hope that those who are responsible or those who will plan such murderous things will take note of the American response. If such a response has the effect of destroying or frightening off a group then something has been achieved.

What makes men create such terror? Aloadin said when he sent out young men to terrorise the land 'Go thou and slay, and when thou returnest, my angels shall bear thee to Paradise'. It is the lure of paradise. The terrorist believes that his earthly sacrifice today will lead to an earthly paradise into which the child of his children's children will be born. This is the glory that is held before him and his blood today will bring paradise for the unborn. The shining light of fanaticism which has a chilling quality that cannot be easily extinguished. Such fanaticism dismays me because we lack the power to destroy it. I feel afraid, afraid of the future as I come to terms with what has happened and I am without any illusions about the depths of barbarity into which a man can descend.

The ways of men are often beyond comprehension. We have become witness to the suffering of mankind, so much is caused by conflict and by the human debris disgorged by it. I often wonder what happens to man's reason, tolerance and compassion? Everyday I read the papers, listen to the commentators and the analysts and the news becomes a surreal collage of orchestrated madness. All too often the balance of peace resides in the profitability of terror. It is difficult to find understanding and absolution for the misdeeds of mankind . It goes hand in hand with intrigue, treachery and insane madness. The end never justifies the means. Justice can no longer be rendered under a system that has surrendered its integrity. I know I feel strongly about such things, but I care, care deeply, as we all care. More and more, we can see the random waves of madness, the ever continuing violence of life, the stupidity of it all, the injustice, the pure blind cruelty and the many links in the terrible chain of acts of terrorism and destruction that are so frequent today. I know the world is filled with violence we see is daily beamed into our living rooms. It has become a fact of life. Violence, madness and hatred exists in many walks of life, under many guises.

I guess we will never have an answer as to why God allows such things to happen. But I also guess the answer lays within ourselves. What has been created has been created by ourselves. By decisions made in the past, by conflict and lack of understanding. By man's ability to create evil and to become the dark monster that lurks inside us all.

So my friends, this e-mail is not about the pretty things in life. This e-mail is about sorrow and horror and is also a prayer for those that have suffered. As you feel as an American, we in Australia, as many do around the world, feel for you and stand in support as to whatever action your Government takes. Dark days lay ahead but beyond that darkness lays hope and the freedom from the tyranny of terrorism.

God be with you all
Sue

Do you like spiders? There aren't really many dangerous spiders in Melbourne. The most common dangerous one is called a whitetail and if you get a nip from one, your skin starts to die and you end up getting welty sore type things! We also have the redback which can put you in hospital for a few days. Redbacks lurk in dank, dark places so they are easily avoidable but the whitetail can be found anywhere in the house and can often be seen scooting across the carpet in the summer months.

We also have those spiders that tend to go for the psychological angle. Take, for example, the huntsman. It may not be very dangerous, but it's big enough to scare the death out of me, I can tell you, everytime I see one and it gets the adrenaline pumping mightily.

A week or two ago I encountered a huge one in my study at home. It was big enough that I'd swear I could see it licking its lips. I'm pretty sure I could see the hairs on its legs. Then when I summoned up the courage to trap it, it escaped from me - it must have seen me coming and sprinted off along the wall behind a curtain.

The other night I saw it again in the hallway. At least I really hope it was the same one - the thought of two of these devils roaming the house doesn't bear thinking about, especially as they're big enough that they should be paying a share of the living costs!

Again, when it saw me coming it scooted up into the heights of the cathedral ceiling and leered at me - I swear I could see its eyes and mouth but then again I do have a vivid imagination. There's no way I'm climbing up a ladder to reach him and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn't drop onto the table as one did a few months back scaring our guests with his unusual party piece - you've never seen people move quite so quickly n- luckily he missed the serving dish!

Talking of scaring our dinner guests, a few years back we use to have a huntsman whom we nicknamed Fred. We could never catch him as he'd disappear behind the bookcases or dresser. Funnily enough he'd use to appear during dinner parties leering at us from the wall. Gave the ladies quite a fright at times - Terry would just nod and say "that's Fred". Quite a party piece. Except one day one lady felt something crawling up her leg. Thought it was the cats tail - shortly after I saw Fred appear from under the dinner table, making his way across the carpet - he had a big grin on his face. Little devil! Not sure what happened to Fred - he just disappeared - perhaps he found his way out of the house!

Hmm, they really are nasty things. One night I woke up having felt something run across my face. I screamed, jumped out of bed and in the process woke Terry. Grumpily he told me not to be so daft but when we moved back the covers guess what we found? A huntsman trying to get comfy! Needless to say we sprayed Baygon in the bedroom the next day. Now Huntsmen are okay outside, but I really don't need them snuggling up to me inside especially in the bed!

Terry, my husband, won't kill a thing. I reckon most our insect neighbours know this and think we are an easy touch and keep coming back. Somethings are brought inside and placed in the bath to be viewed for a couple of hours. Found some mightly funny things in the bath from writhing snakes to little furry things with four legs. Mind you, when we saw a family of rats tucking into the sunflower seed on the bird feeding table (when they saw us watching they disappeared very quickly up the drain pipe and into the roof area) Terry soon changed his mind. Nice looking family they were too. But the rustlings in our walls and the thumps on the ceiling told us that things were getting out of hand family wise so I'm afraid we had to put down some rat poison which was a great shame. Within a week things were quiet around the house again.

We often have possum visitors. Now these little devils can get into your ceilings and in between walls as well. They are really cute little devils but the problem is they piddle and their piddle has a tendency to stink. Luckily our possums build their nests in the trees that surround us but we still have one or two visitors in the roof. You can hear them lift the roof tiles and start scrabbling around. Sometimes they go absolutely crazy and you hear them running and jumping from one end of the ceiling to the other. Not good when you are tyring to sleep. We had some gutter guard put in and this seems to have helped but they still seem to be getting in. I think they think they roof void is their playing space. At least they don't piddle - now if they started that it would be time to call Peter the Possum Man in who traps and rescues them and then deposits them in the countryside somewhere. Trouble in the possums have a way of finding their way back to their same territory and creating havoc again. Not that they worry us too much ... it's just that when people come and stay they wonder what on earth is going on up in the nether regions of the house. We tell them fear not, it's only our resident ghosts running around!

This is a peaceful haven and I know if for what it is. Events of the wider world remain remote and the troubles that abound seemingly a distant soft murmur that occasionally impinge on my consciousness. I turn my eyes to the flickering television screen and I watch knowing so well the storm that may yet lie ahead for us all. Terrible events continue to proceed along their ordained course. I feel the rolling, churning, chaos forever moving forward. Thoughts spin through my mind. My own beliefs are as old as fear itself and my beliefs are not easily altered, nor easily abandoned.

Images seen from around the world televised into our family room of what is eventuating on a daily basis which are scattered with their glories and the terror of mankind. The world will continue turning and the affairs of men will continue apace and there is no doubt in my mind that there will be more violence, armies in movement, people once again on the move across borders. If man knew what loomed before him I ask, would he change? No, I doubt it – man will learn in the most painful of ways – for I think our future is a blessing and a curse. No doubt lives will be changed and events will gallop forever onwards and a great many changes will come to pass in the next century and millennium. Perhaps it is better that mankind does not know what lies ahead for I believe that when we fully know the truth, man will carry it for a long, long time. But I know as I have always known. We imagine we see the world as it is. What we see is the world we imagine. We do not see the world as it is and men as they truly are.

Oh yes, there are those in this world who will vie for position and power and who will be filled with ambition and greed. They will seek to snatch what they can. Alliances will change with the wind; loyalties will ebb and flow with the tide. (Have we not hear these things internally and externally whispered on the winds of time?) Will we continue to remain aloof and unconcerned with squabbles in distant lands because we believe it will not affect us? We cavort in the twilight believing that we are invincible and that the seasons will continue to come and go.

The ugliness and treachery of ourselves cannot be denied. Are people perhaps truly fools? I’ve never completely lost the terror such a thought arouses. Why is it so difficult for us learn? Is it because we are so wrapped up in our own selfishness that we do not see what is happening and where it will lead? I still believe that we can be anything we want to be. Man has an inclination to evil and a capacity for nobility. Perhaps I see the world too much through my own narrow lens of experience and have become a fool who is stuffed with too much false and useless knowledge.

Australia sits like a rock in the sea and I suspect the terrors will wash these shores but will recede and the rock will remain unchanged. I know that wisdom will be given when wisdom is required, courage when courage is required, and life when life is required. All things will be given. I am not bereft of hope. Hope is there is my heart.

The Israelis are politicians no different from other politicians and I do try and look at the Israeli Government with a certain amount of detachment by seeing them straight on rather than behind a screen of moral righteousness. God is so often a justification for the worst of what we want to do. You write that everyone becomes, in victory, obsessed by the moral factor. Have you now become my moral guide through moral and ethical minefields? War has never been considered immoral at the highest level of responsibility - merely wise or unwise in the event you lose or your aims are not fulfilled. I would argue that if there is an absence of morality then it’s morally reprehensible to attack. You were very clear when you pointed out that Israel did not use - contrary to some versions - nor intended to use, such direct force against civilians and I don’t doubt that a number of people in Government have called it “embarrassing” but all in all it’s still an damning critique.

You’ve asked if Israel is in imminent peril. Israel is at a crossroads as it has often been in the past. Historically, Israel has managed to survive all the storms but the peace process is barely on track and the situation will worsen during the months ahead due to stupidity, reaction, intolerance and hatred. I feel the brooding abyss widening. Israel’s enemy will be herself in the long term and their fate may be sealed by their own perversity. These will be days of doubt and of final decision which will mark the turning period in the history of the Middle East. They will continue to move from crisis to crisis impelled by the force of circumstance and they will act more hurriedly at times than wisdom demands. Israel may be flawed but I still believe, nonetheless, that with wise counsel they can overcome the difficulties ahead. There are a handful of good, caring and compassionate people working in Government who understand the perils that lie ahead for Israel but they are few and far between and they will be working in an environment of political and bureaucratic indifference and even hostility.

Nothing has changed in the past few years ...

The widespread increase in crime and violence and all forms of suffering throughout all levels of society have become common place occurrences. We live in a world that is uncertain, often meaningless and repugnant. I don't believe you can improve society by forcing social reform. You have to improve the individuals who compose it and this can only be done through education and re-education. As with mental health we often deal with problems upside down. The mentally ill here in Australia, who desperately need our help, are left to fend for themselves in appalling conditions. What we have is the futile shifting of responsibility, and despite all the elaborate theories and structure put forward, we have change without the backup services that are so desperately required and experimentation on those who can least afford to be experimented upon. And they call this, improvement and progress! We have not helped the mentally ill individual to attain his potential in dealing and living effectively in the outside world. Many have been shunted into boarding houses, without proper medical backup, medication or supervision. Many, like those in the States, walk the streets. We are not carrying out our responsibility for equipping those less fortunate than ourselves to cope with the everyday life of society outside the mental institutions. Certainly there is a need to integrate those less fortunate than ourselves into society and it is the legitimate process of Government to do so. From my viewpoint, it would seem that not only the Australian Government but other Government’s worldwide may have failed in their responsibility.